Three weeks ago today, my mother died. She was very sick and fought all she could, but it doesn't change the chasm she left in my heart when she left this world and left me here in it. I cry everyday, I think of her everyday and I talk to her everyday, but the world is still gray and lifeless around me. I know I am not the only one in this world who has gone through this, but it feels like I am.
I have so many emotions right now, I don't know what to do with them.
Today I finished with this semester and I couldn't share it with her. I will say that I didn't cry over that, but I did cry today. I cried because after a wonderful morning of spending time with my love and shopping for gifts, I was stunned to see my fereal kitten dead in the road. I lost it, Dean did however go pick him up for me. Someone just hit him and left him there and I hope they rot in hell. I cried because I felt like God was taking everything from me.
In reality it isn't God, it's just all this pain is still fresh. I know he only gives us we he knows we can handle, but why does he think Im so strong?
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