National Lampoon ain't got nothing on my vacation

It all started in Corpus Christi. My fiance had to go there on business so I decide to tag along, because I need a vacation however brief. So we set off for the coast, which we live in North Texas and going south to Padre and Corpus is like a  hour drive, which in some states here the drive is like driving across two of them! We took the "scenic" route to avoid major highway congestion which set us off another 30  minutes...so almost 7 hours later we arrive. We get there and realize that the Air BnB lied and gave the appearance we were right on the beach facing a vast ocean only to find out that we were actually i the Gulf or Bay area of Corpus so we had to drive another 30 min or so back to Corpus to a run down little condo where the paint on the ceiling was peeling and I had my first encounter with a gout stricken meth head. Yes, that's right a meth head or at the very least a drunkard judging by his feet which is sad. The man was about a month away from certain death, but at least he's die on the beach possibly. What!? I mean at least it's a nice view.

Anyway my fiance was apologetic and it wasn't his fault and the place wasn't that bad if you remove the crackhead and the occasional roach we roomed with. Let's get to that shall we? So basically we show up and unpack and everything is cute, but being near the beach you can imagine that there was the occasional bug here and there. Although I didn't discover that until the next day when I went to heat up my microwave meal because I was stuck there to an extent, we;ll get to that later.Anyway so I was about to put the t.v. dinner in and saw his little dirty ass running around in a panic and so I did what any sane human would do, you bet your ass I nuked him and I'm here to witness that they really can survive most anything. I mean it took me 3 tries of 30 seconds each to fry his ass. After that I lost my appetite and waited for him to get home from work to go out. I was stuck there because I don't trust Uber and didn't want to walk two miles down creeper shore to a restaurant.

The next day was quite the adventure, we went deep sea fishing! I was really hesitant about it since I have anxiety especially about the ocean. I mean it's beautiful ,but the vastness just scares the hell out of me. All that water and depth and I can't swim, it really is quite scary. Well going out there I had taken Dramamine for the last 24 hours like I was told to ward off sea sickness and I was doing OK minus the sun beating me down and making my head hurt. We didn't really eat breakfast and that was a bad idea, but I did eat my leftover crab cake from the day before..(wrong move) So there we are and the boat is rocking and fighting waves the fiance leaves to get me a beer to settle my tummy and almost gets thrown overboard comes back with my beer. I swallow it down and it seems to help until we dock. We dock onto a oil rig about an hour and a half out in the Gulf and that's when shit gets real. The boat is rocking on choppy waters non stop and the guys are catching fish left and right having a good time. I even caught a few fish and they were catching sharks and that's when out of no where the nausea hits and I look to my left as a sudden wave comes over me, my face turns green and I see them hook a shark my size and throw it on deck. Blood is spilling everywhere and I ultimately lose it and I lose it ALL. I run to the front of the boat (another bad move) cause it's super choppy and I blow chunks into the ocean, there goes the crab cake!

Well after that we started catching shitloads of fish, sharks, barracudas and blue fish. Apparently they like crab cakes.Yuck! The men on the boat felt sorry for me and kept bringing me sharks to pet and there was a sucker fish which when touched stuck to your hand (so cool). Haha but seriously it was greatness and with that being said I will NEVER do that again.The drive back to the hotel I was famished and we grabbed a bite to eat and Whataburger never tasted so good. So all in all it was a memorable vacation if anything. I did enjoy the time I spent with my fiance and so we drove back home to get ready for our next big adventure...Lake Tyler. Tune in next week for that story.

Deep-sea fishing and other terrible things

 Today I went deep-sea fishing with my fiancé. I thought it would be nice to do something with him that he enjoys. I however did not know that I apparently  I was going to create memories that would last a lifetime more than I knew. I do not have see legs nor will I ever I’m pretty much a land loving girl.I have anxiety to top it off , but wanted to make my fiancé happy so I sucked it up, only to throw it up later.
 It all started out when we got on the boat this afternoon in full sun I being of Irish Polish dissent was already doomed to burn like a piece of bacon lying in a pan. However I sprayed on my SPF 70 and just muddle through it all. I put on my happy face because I love him even though I was terrified to get on this boat and go out into the middle of the ocean, by the way did I mention I’m afraid of water.

  It didn’t start out so bad took us about an hour to get out into the ocean where all the sharks were at. I popped a Xanax to calm my nerves as well as several Dramamine. We  then tied off to a rig where we begin to move side to side and up-and-down and the next thing you know I was up chucking my lunch overboard. I knew I shouldn’t have had those damn crab cakes, well...at least he had a burial at sea.
 Anyway, so we were out there fishing for sharks and I’m dying 😵 all the while everybody else is okay. It was embarrassing to say the least. I’m definitely not doing it again. I would like to quote Meatloaf and say “I would do anything for love ,but I won’t do that..no I won’t do that.